Vox

Musings, rants, rambling, general nonsense

Enticed Into A Stupor?

Posted on | November 18, 2009 | No Comments

This may be a good deal (if you are out in Gilbert) but the copy is awful. You have got to wonder who writes this drivel


Today’s Groupon readies your nails for public consumption. For $20, you get a mani-pedi at LaVie Nails and Spa (a $38 value). Gaze into beautifully rendered nails, which is the swiftest portal into the soul; the select staff at LaVie Nails & Spa will make sure your soul-portals are lovely passages.

The golden saffron environment of LaVie will entice you into a meditative stupor, while the gentle beauticians deliver relaxation and rejuvenation up your nails and into your core. Using the most trustworthy products ensures long-lasting results, and your pampered, beloved, shining nails reflect the comfort and psychological pleasure of a freshly manied, newly pedied lover of life. Radiance will spill out of everything you touch and tread on, from a grilled cheese sandwich to a welcome mat made out of a grilled cheese sandwich.

The benefits of your mani-pedi last longer than the decadent experience itself. Since your hands are always out in front, the condition of your nails and skin will affect people’s impression of your age, hygiene, and the likelihood of you owning a 1996 Dodge Neon. With youthful hands and strong nails, you’ll achieve a sophisticated look that will help you climb the ladder at work and receive free winning lottery tickets at gas stations. Milk the ongoing open-toed shoe season with polished toes, and rub your silky feet together under the covers on an ever-so-slightly chilly night.

 
Now I know where to go to put a shine on my soul portals….and find a welcome mat of grilled cheese.

 



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Category: advertising

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