Musings, rants, rambling, general nonsense

Who Needs a Pre-Nup?

Posted on | September 25, 2012 | No Comments

I have mentioned prenups in this space before, and I think a few of you called me unromantic. I prefer “pragmatic” and “realistic”. Answering some basic questions prior to saying “I do” can save you a world of hurt after.

CNN.com is mentioning them, as well. Far from being only for those with large portfolios to protect, a prenup can answer much more complex questions than just the division of assets.

“Creating a prenup may actually strengthen your relationship. While people often focus on the fact that negotiating a prenup is potentially divisive, it is easy to lose sight of the fact that communicating about money matters can actually improve the quality of your marriage,” says Stoner.

But, of course, a prenup is not romantic.

“Being engaged conjures up images of candlelit dinners and walks in the moonlight. Although marriage is a financial partnership as well as a romantic one, if you feel that discussing something as mundane as property and finances, as well as the possibility of divorce, will mar an otherwise beautiful time of your lives, you may not be candidates for a prenup,” Stoner says.

In my view, if you are unable to talk about “something as mundane as property and finances, as well as the possibility of divorce” during your engagement, not only are you not candidates for a prenup, you may well not be candidates for marriage.

According to N.J. matrimonial attorney Silvana Raso, “There’s not a single person who couldn’t benefit from a prenup, even if you’re going into marriage with little assets,” says Raso. “You might accumulate assets during the marriage, and even a young couple embarking on their own careers wants to make sure that what they acquire during marriage isn’t just left up to a judge to divide,” she adds.  See:  Why Almost Everyone Needs a Prenup

Whether you get an official document or not, simply having the conversation(s) will go a long way toward ensuring the long-term success of your marriage.

Some questions to consider (not entirely related to assets) are available via the New York Times, “Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying” If you can’t discuss those topics – you really shouldn’t be signing a life-long marriage contract.

Another large point to keep in mind – it would be better to end it the morning of the wedding, despite all those potentially disappointed guests, than face a long, drawn out, painful (and likely expensive) divorce next year.


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