SACRAMENTO (BP) – Sources here in California’s capital are admitting they are unprepared for a potentially catastrophic occurrence. Though recent financial problems in The Golden State have driven much of the population to migrate to locations offering greater autonomy and opportunities, residents of San Francisco have remained mostly satisfied with their position within the nanniest of the nanny states.
As the population nears 1 million people, many who insist on also keeping captive companion animals, concerns have arisen that the second-most densely populated large city will break off from the peninsula where it has been precariously perched since at least the early 19th century. (in this map you clearly see the disconnect has already begun)
No one has yet determined whether such a break would result in the detached city tipping over, capsizing if you will, or would simply set the landmass asea, a floating tribute to drug and hippie culture.
Barbara Boxer (D-CA) has expressed her hope that the Golden Gate Bridge would act as a giant thumb tack, holding the city in place as it has so successfully through the multiple earthquakes for which this part of the state is so famous. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) immediately began forming a commission to study the problem, insisting that San Francisco is a national treasure which demands the allocation of federal funds. Pelosi’s “Keep It Stuck, San Fran” commission is expected to issue a recommendation to reinforce the Golden Gate where it meets land on both the north and south ends of the span, turning it into “more of a giant staple”. When questioned on the potential multi-billion dollar price tag, Pelosi said the question was “obviously homophobic” and clearly asked by “a teabagger”.
Since hearing of the KISSF commission, Representative Hank Johnson (D-GA) suggested a similar study be done to ensure the safety of Guam. “Perhaps all we need to do is attach a series of pontoons to the most longest sides of the island”, Johnson said.
UPDATE: I was going to add this comment from Facebook because I thought it funny someone believed this was possibly true.
The article sited above is poorly informed. This is definitely *not* a handout along the lines of the Alaskan “bridge to nowhere”.
…[snip]
But then I saw he added most of it here himself. So, there ya’ go.
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Phoenix, AZ
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This is definitely *not* a handout along the lines of the Alaskan “bridge to nowhere”.
The marina area of north SF, including the base of the Golden Gate bridge, is located on a landfill project that occurred shortly after the 1906 earthquake. Most of the landfill consists of mud dredged from the SF Bay. Through geologic forces I do not understand, the landfill liquefies during an earthquake.
“The 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake caused liquefaction of the fill upon which the neighborhood is built, causing major damage including a small firestorm. The neighborhood was quickly rebuilt.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marina_District,_San_Francisco,_California#History
And by the way, California receives $0.79 federal distribution for every $1 paid in tax. Many red states receive a surplus in federal distribution. Oklahoma gets $1.48 for every federal tax dollar; Mississippi, $1.77; Alabama, $1.71, West Virginia, $1.83.
Ironically, it is the blue states that receive the least dollars in federal distribution.
http://www.taxfoundation.org/UserFiles/Image/Blog/ftsbs-large.jpg
I completely disagree, Mr Anonymous. Billions spent on this project would be a boondoggle beyond reason and comprehension. My Republican dollars should not be spent on anything in San Francisco. Those people chose to live there, I shouldn’t have to pay for their kooky lifestyle choices.
Mr Anonymous,
I’m not sure whether it is an indictment of the current state of our government that you actually thought that was real… or merely a statement on your beliefs that you felt compelled to defend something so patently absurd, simply because it was “your side”
C’mon, the Golden Gate is keeping San Francisco from floating away…like a big thumb tack?!?
Robert,
Do Republican dollars have pictures of Reagan on them? ‘Cause I want some of those
I’m sorry Ms. Vox, Republicans are not allowed to talk publicly about President Reagan C-Notes, or the Global Warming Denier Gas Cards that Karl Rove sends to us.
That’s funny cuz I never said anything to indicate that I believed the GG Bridge acted as a thumb tack. I said the liquefication phenomenon is a genuine problem.
Robert, I think it’s a legitimate stand to take, that no federal money should be spent. I disagree, but the view is legitimate. However, it is not a boondoggle as the Alaskan bridge is because the bridge was going to serve such a small population that the expenditure was not justified.
North SF has considerable investment in infrastructure and business. The Golden Gate Bridge serves many commuters going to work and participating in the economy.
Furthermore, we spend considerable federal money on communities affected by tornadoes. We spend federal money on levees up and down the Mississippi river. We probably spend federal dollars on swamp drainage projects in Florida. All worthy projects, except the swamp drainage as that just raises the water table and leads to salination of ground water.
Vox, the marina area is very exclusive and I’m sure very few people with “kooky lifestyles” live there. The “kooks” live in the Mission district and other areas.
San Francisco has a long history and is a major port. Wired magazine has it’s offices there, Bank of America used to be HQed there, and Wells Fargo has major offices there. It is a vibrant city. If you don’t like SF, there’s no shortage of places to visit and enjoy.
Oh, you got me. Taken in, hook, line and sinker! Well played, Vox, well played. I’ll have that serving of humble pie now.
Oh, be kind, delete my posts! At least remove my name Vox, you are the queen of comedy, have mercy.
Sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind!
OK, I removed the name of our unfortunate victim.
1) Because he asked nicely
2) Because he had the spine to post his name in the first place.
I appreciate when someone is willing to put his money where his mouth is – so I won’t force him to be raked over the coals anymore. I do, however, relish the fact that someone bit…so I leave the content of the comments intact.
There you go, ruining the “heartless conservative” meme the other side has created about us.
He was a good sport about it and respectful too. Catch and release is very sporting (and merciful) of you.
Cheers!
Just when I thought I was all growed up, taken for a ride. Thanks Vox and Robert, in an odd way, you’ve made my day. Vox, there’s so many gems here, eg ‘Pelosi’s “Keep It Stuck, San Fran” commission is expected to issue a recommendation to reinforce the Golden Gate where it meets land on both the north and south ends of the span, turning it into “more of a giant staple”.’
Peace!