Vox

You Gotta Have Friends

I have been reminded recently, by a couple of situations, of just what a private person (and a loner) I tend to be.

My sister has several groups of friends, whole herds of girls, she hangs with. She has groups of girlfriends in other states! She talks to many of her friends every day, sometimes more than once a day, and they talk for a long time. They get together as a group for dinner. They get together for chatting. They go on vacation together. She and I grew up together, yet this is completely foreign to me.

Rambling and TMI coming up, you've been warned...

I have very few close friends. I have had 2 girlfriends since childhood that I kept in touch with.
One, MB, has been my best friend since we were 6 years old - that's a long time people! Despite long breaks without much communication (she lived all over the country, and then in Japan, I lived in several states) every time we get back together it is like no time has passed. We have very little in common and yet the friendship works.

My other friend, JJ, and I were friends for 25 years - until very recently. I finally realized that she is just a toxic person. She was never there when I needed her, only if she needed me. She was rarely supportive of anything I wanted to do, and never approved of me being in any relationship (even going out of her way to try and sabotage a few of them) She could definitely be counted on to bring out the worst in me, and to encourage me to make bad decisions. Add to that her unending drama (OMG people!) and I just couldn't take it anymore.

I have a few other girlfriends, but no one I am especially close to. I have a couple of other longtime friends; DataDave (my old boss) and his wife, Broken, Ali.....goodness, is that it? People I enjoy but rarely speak to. I don't generally converse with my friends, even via email, more then once every couple of months - can't imagine talking every day. I have lost many friendships because I am pathetic at keeping in touch.

Now, being in a relationship, I find that I enjoy being with that one special person. I never feel crowded, yet I still maintain a very private side. I just don't open up all that much, mostly because I don't think it would be that interesting to anyone else. I have been more exposed here on this blog than I would have imagined myself being, and yet you all know it is mostly just superficial fluff.

Just rambling because I was struck by how guarded I remain, and I am not sure why, and how different I am from my sister. We came from a family of six, but she and I were the last two (yeah, I'm the baby) so we definitely grew up together - and yet we have next to nothing in common, especially when it comes to social styles. Odd.

Posted by Vox at April 17, 2006 05:30 PM | TrackBack | personal