Vox

Adoption/Abortion/Connection

SAJU recently posted about abortion (OK, it was only nominally about abortion, but that is what stuck out) - and, of course, drew conflicting comments. He made a point about assumed risk which is very close to the position I take.

I fully support a woman's right to choose not to get pregnant in the first place. It is very easy to avoid. Once you are pregnant, though, there are at least two other people involved.

His argument was relating to men suing to get out of child support because they had no choice whether or not the child was born. I definitely see his point, and in fact someone at Cafe Press had products that reflected that (can't find them or I would link it). They basically said, "Woman's choice: abortion, adoption, keep the baby. Man's choice: cash, check, prison" Too true - and in far too many cases the baby isn't even his (but I digress)

WARNING: Short story made long coming.

Some of the comments reminded me of a girl I knew in San Francisco, a friend of a friend. The first time we were going to get together turned out to be the day of the Rodney King verdict and I got stuck on the Bay Bridge trying to get to the city and the Opera House (we were going to see Swan Lake).

I finally made it to her place, which she shared with two roommates and her 4 year old son, Kiel. (Yeah, most people spell that Kyle) I was waiting it out there and sat with Kiel while she went to pick up her roommate who was out rioting with the rest of the hippies.

When she got back we chatted a bit and the conversation got around to her adorable son. Turns out the pregnancy was unplanned and she gave him up for adoption - then took him back after two weeks. As someone who has considered adoption, that was always one of my worst fears - finally believing I had my child only to have him or her taken away.

Then she told me that she got pregnant again two years later (apparently she didn't learn how that happens) and had an abortion - because she knew it would hurt too much to give the baby away.

How in the WORLD is it easier to kill your child than allow someone else to raise him? Especially in the days of open adoptions when you can be reassured on a regular basis that your decision was a good/kind/generous one.

Just crazy to me.

Posted by Vox at March 13, 2006 06:23 PM | TrackBack | personal