February 13, 2005

Like A Skunk Goes With Stank

A day early, a redneck love poem that I stole from YaYa who got it from Rita.

Collards is green, my dog’s name is Blue
And I’m so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like corn silk a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than ole Blue’s and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain’t got not scales but I luv you anyway.
Yore as satisfy’n as okry jist a-fry’n in the pan.
Yore as fragrant as “snuff” right out of the can.

You have some’a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we’re in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
Well, I’m in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Still, them fellers at work, they wall want to know,
What I did to deserve such a purdy young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape, yore there fer yore man,
To patch up life’s troubles and fix what you can.

Yore as cute as a junebug a-buzzin’ overhead.
You ain’t mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
You spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete; Ain’t nuttin’ I lack.
Yore complexion, it’s perfection, like the best vinyl sidin’.
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin’.

Me ‘n’ you’s like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
We go together like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine’s Day;
They git it at Walmarts, it’s romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day
From the cooler at Kroger. “That’s impressive,” I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
“Diamonds are forever,” they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these won’t do.
Cause yore too special, you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds…
It’s a new troll’n motor!!

Posted by Vox at February 13, 2005 12:17 PM | general

So darn funny! :)

Posted by: yayaempress at February 14, 2005 08:52 AM