October 19, 2004

A Perfect Fit

John Edwards shows that he is the perfect choice for the Kerry ticket, being just as vain and shallow as Lurch.

"For a guy whoís been known derisively to the Bush crowd as the Breck girl," observes Shearer, vice presidential candidate John Edwards seems "way too interested in his hair." He tries to straighten it with his fingers. A makeup technician approaches with a comb, but the senator likes it just so and does the combing himself. He signals heís ready for hair spray by closing his eyes expectantly, like a child. Then Edwards and the technician straighten a little more with their fingers. Please donít tell me that thing in his hand is a compact. Oh, dear. It is.
As I watched the video, I kept thinking "it has to stop soon, surely no one (especially no man) could really fuss and primp this long" and then he smoothed some more, and checked, and smoothed - and on and on. If the Johns actually win, Edwards may be our first female Vice President.

I have to imagine, however, that this new information coming to light will hurt them with the environmentalist wackos - did you see how much hair spray they used on him? OMG! And what is with the weird lip licking/chewing ritual...bizarre.

Found via Stacy, who got it from Lisa

Posted by Vox at October 19, 2004 12:25 PM | humor , politics

You know, in all of the references to this video that I've seen today, not one single person has mentioned anything about the strange lip licking thing that happens. I'm so glad someone else saw that too and I'm not going insane!!

Posted by: yayaempress at October 19, 2004 01:46 PM

Yeah, I guess if you can't talk about the growing jobs, or a democratic and secure Iraq, or a captured Osama bin Laden, or more Americans with health insurance, or less Americans in poverty, then you have to focus on John Edwards' hair.

I bet you guys would love the clip of Paul Wolfowitz sticking an entire comb in his mouth and spackling his hair with it. If was in F911, you should check it out!

Posted by: Hello at October 21, 2004 01:39 PM

Actually, we could talk about the 2 million jobs that have been added, the democratic and secure Afghanistan (where they just cast their first votes), a liberated and free Iraq - on their way to self government, a neutered Osama Bin Laden, health insurance is a topic both parties are screwed up on (tho the Libs more so, since they want me to pay for your health care), Americans are better off than they have been, especially as we come out a the recession that began during Clinton's last term and was magnified by 9-11. We could, and do, talk about all those things.

But this was a humor post - and John Edwards hair ritual is just plain funny. Thats a big difference in the political spectrum - us Right Wingers have a sense of humor.

Posted by: Vox at October 21, 2004 02:34 PM

Yeah, you guys are a riot. But you evidently get your facts wrong.

"Actually, we could talk about the 2 million jobs that have been added."
Unfortunately, Bush would've needed to add almost 7 million jobs (150,000 per month) just to keep up with a growing US population. He's 5 million jobs short of the "just treading water" mark. Nearly half of the 2 million jobs you cite come from the ballooning federal government. Anyone willing to grow the deficit can create a million jobs. Bush will be the first US President since Herbert Hoover with net job losses.

"the democratic and secure Afghanistan."
I'll give you half of this one. The recent elections seem to have gone off without much violence or fraud. And I have to admit I didn't think that was going to happen. Props to the Americans, international supervisors, and Afghans for making it happen. Unfortunately, Afghanistan is largely UNSECURE outside of Kabul. Warlords and druglords control huge portions of the country.

"a liberated and free Iraq"
I guess I wouldn't want your definition of liberation and freedom brought to the US. More Americans died in Iraq in July than in June, more in August than July, more in September than August, and the horrible trend continues into October. This indicates that things are getting WORSE in Iraq.

"a neutered Osama Bin Laden"
Really? Al Qaeda's numbers are on the rise, largely to the recruitment drive that is American policy in the Middle East. The International Institute for Strategic Studies just released a report: http://www.guardian.co.uk/Iraq/Story/0,2763,1331362,00.html

"health insurance is a topic both parties are screwed up on"
Maybe so, but that doesn't change the fact that the number of uninsured has grown to 45,000,000 under President Bush.

"Americans are better off than they have been"
See many points above.

"as we come out a the recession that began during Clinton's last term"
Actually, the economy didnít enter recession until March 2000, according to the National Bureau of Economic Research, who is the official arbiter of when recessions begin and end. The economy was slowing significantly at the end of Clinton's term, but to be accurate, the recession began 3 months after Bush took office.

Hope this helps.

Posted by: Hello at October 21, 2004 03:43 PM